just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
