Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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