He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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