he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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