Sponge bath it is.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
