I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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