Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
