in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's blow job season.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
