Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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