You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
