haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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