Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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