you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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