actually, I'm a sock model
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
