i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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