I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
