I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
