we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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