...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
