ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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