I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
