It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
