She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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