I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
