We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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