That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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