can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
