How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
