Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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