Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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