Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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