GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize