Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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