Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
