He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
