she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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