i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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