We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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