the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
