And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
