I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
