just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
