Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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