Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
