I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
