And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
