Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
