I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
