Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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