I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
