i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
