I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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