i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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