i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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