My nipple is on Facebook.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
