David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
