There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
